No mans Land (University Education)

I am an old man suffering from mid 20s crisis with 4 yrs of university experience under my belt and still an year to go. Back in school all we heard was tales of a promised land where there is no one to discipline us and damsels are in abundance and where people replace food and water with alcohol. Have you ever noticed how most of us sailed through it without ever gaining consiousness from the alcohol or picking their heads up from the books. I have tried my best to stay concious and hold on to those lil parts I think make this university life an unique experience.

GIRLS: Well girls were and are the most important thing we had in our mind when we came from a XX chromosome starved school and were put in places overflowing with this new creature we called girls. We had seen them from a distance and we had studied them over time trying to figure out wat we shall do when we first meet them. Our school days (not all of u, the terribly unlucky ones who happened to be "educated" in the same instituion as me) spend our days ogling at our female teachers and fantasising what we shall do when we first meet one of those delicate pixie like creatures.

So once we are in the univ we decided to waste no time and directly started hitting on them. Now dont blame us cos we had spent 18 years of life without meeting a single girl and you should understand that its not really our fault that we cant behave(me specially).

Now we dont really know how to appeal to a girl, all we have are wrong, unverified ideas derived from movies and sitcoms. So the best thing we can come up with is " wanna go for a movie with me?". Now this line has been used for generations. Our fathers took girls to those 70s movies with heroes having big sideburns our grandfathers took their girlfriends to those black and white movies where the sets looked like they were part of school plays and our great grandfathers must have used the same line to take their gfs to those silent movie where a piano played along with the movie. We have forgotten that women have become inert to this line,listening to it for the last 100 yrs since the invention fo the motion picture. But we still have to use it and then as expected get shot down.

So we go to plan B, mind you these are sure shot plans of being rejected but with the testosterone flowing like never before virtues like reasoning and rationale are outta the window. Plan B is getting the girls no from someone else and calling her as much as u can with some excuse or the other. Now this is a horrible horrible move from my experience because the girl has never loathed you more. So strike two.

Now the last resorts of wannabe boyfriends is using a combination of being nice and trying to play along with the girl's interest. I on the other hand have nevr tried this because I was retired hurt after strike 2. Well now the guys trying being extra nice and reading the same books the girl likes puts him in the friends zone without his realization. Well there are 2 different levels in the friends zone like energy states in the atom. One is the bottom level which is the doomed friendzone level where u can never acheive enuff energy to be her bf. Its better to look for another girl. Another is the higher friendzone where with lil enegry you can ionize and become her bf. If u are in the top one good for u, if u are in the bottom one look for another girl.

So slowly the guys exhauste all the girls in his own batch and like a pack of heynas waiting for a wildbeeste they lay low for the last few mnths of first year waiting for the new batch. Once the new batch come they pounce on those poor scared souls and a feeding frenzy starts. Some lives are lost and new pairs are formed. Now the unluckiest ones somehow manage to still remain unpaired and they turn to their next best friend alcohol. This is the reason why alcoholism is a favorite pastime of the 3rd and 4th years. When you are in 1st and 2nd year there is some chance of getting chicks but by 3rd yr those guys have hit on and been rejected by somany girls that shakespeare would have written some tragic play bout them.